skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Jesus said to His followers: “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”(Matt. 11:28-30)
It seems to me that many of God’s kids are carrying ill-fitting heavy burdens. In the 18th century John Wesley got a glimpse of the unforced rhythms of grace. It is captured in what I would call the “JW Principle: Haste with a Calm Spirit.”
“Though I am always in haste, I am never in a hurry, because I neverundertake more work than I can go through with calmness of spirit."
(John Wesley)
I am trying to apply the JW Principle of Haste with a Calm Spirit. When there are MANY things screaming for my attention, I evaluate the projects with this phrase in mind--WHAT CAN I DO AND REMAIN CALM IN SPIRIT?My desk, dining room table and kitchen counter were SCREAMING FORATTENTION TO ALL THE PAPER WORK--then I got a call from a dearfriend whose mother-in-law was just killed in a car accident. What can I do in CALMNESS OF SPIRIT???
Applying the “JW Principle” I am able to listen to the Holy Nudge of God and I decide to drive to my friend’s house and weep with those that weep. Then I calmly offer to drive them to the airport. At 5:32 pm my desk, dining room table and counter tops are still piled high with paper work, but dinner is in the oven and I am leaving for the airport to shuttle my precious grieving friends to the airport—all with haste but a calm spirit!
The other day a friend called and asked if I could go somewhere in a few moments with her—a spontaneous request. I paused and asked myself...can I squeeze this in and remain CALM IN SPIRIT...the answer was clear-- NO!!She was disappointed but the calmness in my spirit was so satisfying that Iwasn't thrown into a whirlwind of guilt over saying no to my preciousfriend. I am still busy but my inner woman is more peaceful thanks to BROTHERWESLEY!
In order to apply the “JW Principle” one must surrender his/her junior-god-badge and resign from trying to tame an untamable world. Are you ready to retire from being HCIC (Head Chick in Charge) or HRIC (Head Rooster in Charge)? Early retirement from an “ill-fitted” burden is within our grasp today: Psalm 46:10.
May our week be filled with the blessing of haste with a calm spirit!
Have you registered for the Free Yourself to Love Conference with Ken and Jackie Kendall? It is Saturday, November 7th from 9am to 3pm. It will be held at Grace Fellowship. To register go to www.moodyradiosouthflorida.fm or call 1-800-965-9325.
One of the primary reasons many of us don’t forgive is that we’re too angry even to consider it. We may or may not be aware of the anger we live with day to day. For plenty of people, the anger that holds them hostage to unforgiveness is a rage stored deep in the attics of their hearts. I refer to this as “ancient anger.” Ancient anger is like cobwebs strung across the attics of our hearts, and these cobwebs need to be removed. Frederick Buechner wrote about ancient anger:
Of the Seven Deadly Sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back—in many ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton you feast on is you.1
It is time to call a cleaning crew to clear out the cobwebs of anger. This cleaning crew can include a pastor, professional counselor, Bible study leader, Sunday school teacher, a prayer partner, or a spiritually mature friend—anyone who will really go in there with you for a thorough cleaning. Let me tell you that if that mass of cobwebs isn’t cleaned out, you can pretty much count on the unlikeliness of becoming free from unforgiveness. The cobwebs of ancient anger will tangle you up!
As we know, the Bible has a lot to say about anger. Does it address ancient anger? Yes, it does! Essentially we are exhorted to not even permit anger to age, much less become ancient. A memorable verse that comes to mind when considering the danger of prolonging anger is Ephesians 4:26–27: “‘In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”
(Free Yourself to Love: The Liberating Power of Forgiveness, pp. 140,141)
Returning memories and fresh details of offense can drag you back into the anger that once ruled you. This is all part of the process of forgiving. Forgiveness is both instantaneous and continuous. I forgive my offender instantaneously and then a few weeks or years later, through a vivid memory of the offense, I forgive again—and again (continuously).
A survivor of the Rwandan holocaust expresses this:
My soul was at war with itself. I’d struggled so hard to forgive but now felt duped for having done so. . . . When my neighbors whispered the stories of my family’s sadistic murders in my ear, the feeling of hatred that I thought I’d banished from my soul sprang violently from the depths of my being with renewed vigor. . . . I tossed and turned for hours. . . . I rolled out of bed and got down on my knees. “Forgive my evil thoughts, God.” A sudden rush of air flooded my lungs. I heaved a heavy sigh of relief. The anger that had gripped me like a returning malignancy was gone.4
This woman’s courage to forgive what many would consider an offense too great, with memories far too relentless and vivid, is absolutely stunning.
Instead of resenting memories, one can rejoice that God wants to free us from ruling emotions that are not healthy or beneficial to ourselves or those around us. So often when I teach on forgiveness, people remark to me afterward that they were having flashbacks while I was teaching. I now alert my audiences about the potential for this and tell them not to fear the memories. Rather, they should fear shoving down more pain that will eventually rise up to rule as a despot.
When a memory or flashback intrudes on your day, examine it and consider this: Have I already forgiven this person and released this event? Or have I buried the hurt and anger, and am I still being ruled by what is buried? As David Seamands wrote: “The submerged emotions rise up and express themselves in feelings of deep depression, rage, uncontrollable lust, inferiority, fear, loneliness, and rejection.”3
The next time your brain sends you a memory, flashback, or dream, remember your need for homeostasis and rejoice that you know the 490 Principle (forgive 70 x 7—forgiving again). Practicing this principle is helping you achieve a PhD in Forgiveness—ultimate Christ-likeness. And becoming experts in forgiveness frees us to be experts in loving others. Memories are not the enemy but a vehicle for truth in the innermost part of our souls.
If you are still interested in attending the course on “The Art & Science of Forgiveness,” please come. This class is held on Wednesday’s at Grace Fellowship starting at 7:00 PM and ending at 8:10 PM (so parents can pick up kids when kids’ events end at 8:15 PM). The room is #500 (over the gym). Men and Women are both welcome and childcare is available. The only expense for this class is to get a copy of the book Free Yourself to Love. This book and your Bible will be the class texts.
Tomorrow, September 1, 2009 a new book arrives in stores and on Amazon.com.
The title of the book is: Lady in Waiting for Little Girls: Strengthening the Heart of Your Princess. This book is the offspring of the best-selling book Lady in Waiting. As a single woman, DeDe Kendall was mentored by Jackie Kendall in the principles from Lady in Waiting. During her prolonged singleness (until 40 years old!) DeDe taught these principles to singles, teens and college students. DeDe, a classic “lady in waiting,” finally did marry her prince charming. Having dreamed of being a mother since she was a little girl, DeDe was now anxious to have a baby and was so excited about the prospect of such a blessing. However, during her first year of marriage she was to discover that she was not going to have a baby of her own, but that she was, in fact, infertile.
For many people, living with such a shattered dream amounts to a lifetime of being slashed and bruised by broken shards. But for DeDe, the challenge to live with this shattered dream was not wasted. With God’s help, she would create from those shards a beautiful stained-glass window. DeDe returned to what she knew best: teaching the ten principles of Lady in Waiting. The Lord showed DeDe that although she was physically infertile, spiritually she had thousands of children. She had been mentoring, teaching and inspiring little girls for 36 years, and each of these girls was a precious piece in her mosaic. So it was that DeDe, the vice-principal of a Christian elementary school, began to teach Lady in Waiting to elementary students. This passion was the preparation for a wonderful birth that was to happen.
In DeDe’s 50th year, God showed her that He had something very special for this contented barren woman. Her sister-in-law, Jackie Kendall, was approached about writing a younger girls’ version of her book, Lady in Waiting, and she agreed only because she would have DeDe as a co-author. DeDe knew this opportunity to co-write a book with her mentor, sister-in-law and best friend was a dream come true. Indeed, it was to become more than book project, it was her “baby”— a baby birthed from an infertile woman--Lady in Waiting for Little Girls: Strengthening the Heart of Your Princess.
In Beth Moore’s series on the book of Esther, she teaches the principle of the “reversal of destiny,” where God uses situations, and often difficult ones, as turning points in our lives. DeDe believes that writing this book for moms and their daughters is God’s reversal of destiny in her life. Infertility did not keep DeDe from mothering and loving thousands of children as the beloved “Miss DeDe.” And now Miss DeDe will mentor thousands of moms and daughters through this gift: Lady in Waiting for Little Girls: Strengthening the Heart of Your Princess.
Be the first to order this unique Mother/Daughter book—introducing your daughter(s) for the first time to the timeless principles from the best selling book of Lady in Waiting. Every fairy tale has a moment when the prince finally dances with the leading lady. A little girl’s devotion to God should be similar to that of a princess dancing with her Prince. Lady in Waiting for Little Girls is a mother-daughter mentoring book that is to be enjoyed together (girls ages 5—9). Order today on Amazon.com.
I absolutely squealed out loud when someone told me that three days from today, August 27th is Global Forgiveness Day. All I could think is—I wrote a book that helps a person celebrate GLOBAL FORGIVENESS—EVERY DAY!!! I grasped this vision for this Global Forgiveness Day in the introduction to my book.
I was reading through the workshop notes of a presentation on Forgiveness given on September 7th, 2006, to the United Nations, and began to ponder the privilege of giving such a presentation. Suddenly, I realized that this book is my presentation to an entity even bigger and more influential than the UN: that is, the huge family of God throughout the world. This book is my UN, my Ultimate Necessity presentation, written with the sole agenda of encouraging my brothers and sisters throughout the world to walk in a daily lifestyle of forgiveness. Forgiveness is the call to love, and one can’t love without the developed skill of forgiving freely.
Have you registered for my class this fall: The Art & Science of Forgiveness? I am regularly asked if I am teaching a class locally. For many years, my schedule has not allowed such a privilege. But this fall, my schedule is allowing me to teach a class. Here is a glimpse of the course premise:
We will thoroughly examine forgiveness and its impact on our marriage,
parenting, and friendships. Often the struggles in our day to day relationships can be traced to our inability to forgive freely. Forgiveness
principles and tools that liberate will be examined. Forgiveness is a most
heroic act that rewrites our past and impacts our future.
My home church, Grace Fellowship of West Palm Beach is hosting this class, room #500, Wednesday nights at 7pm this fall.
To register: The online address to register is: www.gfwpb.org, then click on the “Community Interest Groups / Wednesday Electives” banner…that will take you right to the registration page. Class title: The Art & Science of Forgiveness. See you in September!
Recently I was re-reading the acknowledgements I wrote for Free Yourself to Love. When I read what I wrote to my husband and children, I realized that part of the blessing of learning to FORGIVE is to cease making our loved ones carry our pain. Do you need to cease making your loved ones carry your pain—as you live with unforgiveness in your heart? Why not consider joining me this fall for a class I will be teaching titled: The Art & Science of Forgiveness. Here is the course description:
"The heart of emotional health is the ability to forgive. Good relationships (marriages, parent/child, and friendships) are made up of those who have learned how to forgive. This course will examine the "art" of forgiving--forgiving is a specific skill that actually utilizes more creativity than one can imagine. Forgiving freely is a complex science (knowledge) that we will examine and together we will strengthen our 'theology' of forgiving."
The class will begin on Wednesday night, September 2nd, at Grace Fellowship, West Palm Beach. I will be teaching for 11 weeks. If you would like to join me in this class, please go to the online address to register: www.gfwpb.org, then click on the “Community Interest Groups / Wednesday Electives” banner…that will take you to the registration page. Class title: The Art & Science of Forgiveness.
The reason we need you to register—is to have enough chairs set up for those who are coming and workers for childcare. This class will be held on Wednesday’s at Grace Fellowship starting at 7:00 PM and ending at 8:10 PM (so parents can pick up kids when kids’ events end at 8:15 PM). The room is #500 (over the gym). Men and Women are both welcome and childcare is available. The only expense for this class is to get a copy of the book Free Yourself to Love. This book and your Bible will be the class texts.
This class will take you to the next level of understanding the liberating power of forgiveness. Please consider joining the class. I am so excited about teaching this class in my hometown—hope to see you September 2.
Posts
