Monday, November 23, 2009

Seven Life-Changing Syllables

This is a story from The Furious Longing of God by Brennan Manning. While teaching the class The Art & Science of Forgiveness, this story was read to open the third night of the class. This morning the Lord nudged my heart and I knew it was going to be the next HOPE ALERT.

I will never forget a retreat experience years ago in the Midwest. It was a rather large gathering, about 7,000 people. An invitation for healing prayer followed each night’s service; I would go into a side room and meet with those who felt compelled to come. On one particular night, the line extended well beyond midnight and after finishing, I went straight to bed, not even taking my clothes off I was so exhausted. About three o’clock in the morning, I heard a rap on the door and a squeaky little voice: ‘Brennan, can I talk to you?’ I opened the door to find a 78 year old nun. And she began to cry. ‘Sister: What can I do for you?’ We found two chairs in the hallway and her story began. ‘I’ve never told anyone this in my entire life. It started when I was five years old. My father would crawl into my bed with no clothes on. He would touch me there; he said it’s what our family doctor said we should do. When I was nine, my father took my virginity. By the time I was twelve, I knew of every kind of sexual perversion you read about in dirty books. Brennan, do you have any idea how dirty I feel? I’ve lived with so much hatred of my father and hatred of myself that I would only go to Communion when my absence would be conspicuous.” In the next few minutes, I prayed with her for healing. Then I asked her if she would find a quiet place every morning for the next thirty days, sit down in a chair, close her eyes, upturn her palms, and pray this one phrase over and over: ABBA, I belong to You.
It’s a prayer of exactly seven syllables, the number that corresponds perfectly to the rhythm of our breathing. As you inhale—ABBA. As you exhale—I belong to you.
Through her tears she agreed…One of the most moving and poetic follow-up letters I’ve ever received came from this sister. In it she described the inner healing of her heart, a complete forgiveness of her father, and an inner peace she’d never known in her 78 years. She concluded her letter with these words: “A year ago, I would’ve’ signed this letter with my real name in religious life—Sister Mary Genevieve. But form now on,
I’m Daddy’s little girl.

There are tear drops on my copy of this book—and I can’t tell you how often I breathe—Abba I belong to You! Forgiveness and healing is a process but oh the privilege to be helping so many with this journey. Why not consider for this Christmas, a stocking stuffer to encourage a person’s liberating freedom from the past through forgiving freely as Abba as forgiven you and I? A sign on I-75 north of Gainesville, Florida reads: “Forgiving others is an absolute necessity!” Help me spread the good news-- order Free Yourself to Love: The Liberating Power of Forgiveness. Click on this link:
www.freeyouselftolove.com and place your order now. After pre-ordering the book on Amazon, forward your email confirmation to Ken@jackiekendall.com. You will receive a password to access to the on-line DVD of Forgiving the Unforgivable.

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Monday, November 2, 2009

Almost An Extinct Breed: Good Friends

Recently an old friend read me a poem and afterwards said with deep emotion: “You are one of the few people on this planet that such a poem describes.” My response: “That makes me so sad—to hear that such a GOOD FRIEND is an exceptional thing—especially in the life of such a fabulous follower of Jesus!” I thought about her comments and the poem for several days and I decided that I wanted to share it with all of you. May you examine your heart and see whether you offer such friendship to those that God has brought into your life. I think Christians should be exceptional friends.

On Friendship by George Elliott
Oh the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person:
Having neither to weigh thought nor measure words;
But to pour them out just as they are, chaff and grain together,
Knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them,
Keep what is worth keeping and then
With a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.

True friendship is a ministry of encouragement:
“Encouragement is the kind expression that helps someone want to be a better Christian even when life is rough.” (Dr. Larry Crabb)
“Carry one another’s burdens; in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”(Gal.6:2)
“A friend loves at all times…” (Prov. 17:17)
“No one has greater love than this, that someone would lay down his life for his friends.”(John 15:13)

Laying down one’s life for a friend in the 21st century will cost you time, focused attention and compassion that resists a rush to judgment.
Are you such a friend as G. Elliott and Jesus described?
If you haven’t been this kind of friend in awhile...consider a schedule adjustment that has time for “kindly listening and sifting!”
Have you registered for the FREE YOURSELF TO LOVE CONFERENCE, November 7, 2009? It is this Saturday. You can still register today, call 1-800-965-9324 or go to www.moodyradiosouthflorida.fm
- Common lies that Wreck our relationships
- Happiness Fantasy
- Normalize Fighting
- Men are not Clairvoyant
- Dangerous “Just Friends” syndrome
- My Loved One Should Make Me Happy!
- The dependency that strangles love
- And many more “memos to strengthen relationship


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Monday, October 26, 2009

Your Spiritual EpiPen

While teaching my class on the Art & Science of Forgiveness, the Lord dropped a cool illustration into my heart. I was trying to communicate the significance of letting God comfort us…heal us…restore us through His Word. As I was sharing passionately, I saw an EpiPen (helps stop allergic reactions fast - giving you time to get the emergency medical help you need. These are used to stop anaphylaxis shock—it rescues the one struggling.) I began to share how suffering is like going into “anaphylaxis shock” and God’s Word is like the Epi Pen that restores and saves one’s life. Daily we live in a world that we are spiritually “allergic to” and we daily need a “jab” from an Epi Pen!

“If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction. I will never forget your precepts, for by them(EpiPen) you have given me life. (Ps. 119:92, 93)

Suffering and affliction can be like a ‘sucker punch’ to one’s stomach—taking one’s breathe away” and the “EpiPen” of God’s Word can restore one’s breathe! Spending time in God’s Word daily is like taking along an “EpiPen” everywhere you go…a woman carrying it in her purse and a man carrying it in his pocket. Ready for the next challenge that takes your breathe away and your Spiritual EpiPen will be ready to use and restore you back to hope-filled breathe!

“EpiPen for Relationships”
Have you registered for the FREE YOURSELF TO LOVE CONFERENCE, November 7, 2009? The frame for this conference is forgiveness but the content is much broader!
It will be like an “EpiPen” for Relationships.” We will be teaching on:
Common lies that Wreck our relationships
Happiness Fantasy
Normalize Fighting
Men are not Clairvoyant
Dangerous “Just Friends” syndrome
My Loved One Should Make Me Happy!
The dependency that strangles love
And many more “memos to strengthen relationships”


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Monday, October 19, 2009

An Epidemic of Exhaustion Among God’s Kids

Jesus said to His followers: “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”(Matt. 11:28-30)

It seems to me that many of God’s kids are carrying ill-fitting heavy burdens. In the 18th century John Wesley got a glimpse of the unforced rhythms of grace. It is captured in what I would call the “JW Principle: Haste with a Calm Spirit.”

“Though I am always in haste, I am never in a hurry, because I neverundertake more work than I can go through with calmness of spirit."
(John Wesley)

I am trying to apply the JW Principle of Haste with a Calm Spirit. When there are MANY things screaming for my attention, I evaluate the projects with this phrase in mind--WHAT CAN I DO AND REMAIN CALM IN SPIRIT?My desk, dining room table and kitchen counter were SCREAMING FORATTENTION TO ALL THE PAPER WORK--then I got a call from a dearfriend whose mother-in-law was just killed in a car accident. What can I do in CALMNESS OF SPIRIT???

Applying the “JW Principle” I am able to listen to the Holy Nudge of God and I decide to drive to my friend’s house and weep with those that weep. Then I calmly offer to drive them to the airport. At 5:32 pm my desk, dining room table and counter tops are still piled high with paper work, but dinner is in the oven and I am leaving for the airport to shuttle my precious grieving friends to the airport—all with haste but a calm spirit!

The other day a friend called and asked if I could go somewhere in a few moments with her—a spontaneous request. I paused and asked myself...can I squeeze this in and remain CALM IN SPIRIT...the answer was clear-- NO!!She was disappointed but the calmness in my spirit was so satisfying that Iwasn't thrown into a whirlwind of guilt over saying no to my preciousfriend. I am still busy but my inner woman is more peaceful thanks to BROTHERWESLEY!

In order to apply the “JW Principle” one must surrender his/her junior-god-badge and resign from trying to tame an untamable world. Are you ready to retire from being HCIC (Head Chick in Charge) or HRIC (Head Rooster in Charge)? Early retirement from an “ill-fitted” burden is within our grasp today: Psalm 46:10.
May our week be filled with the blessing of haste with a calm spirit!



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Sunday, October 18, 2009

Free Yourself To Love Conference

Have you registered for the Free Yourself to Love Conference with Ken and Jackie Kendall? It is Saturday, November 7th from 9am to 3pm. It will be held at Grace Fellowship. To register go to www.moodyradiosouthflorida.fm or call 1-800-965-9325.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Is There "Ancient" Anger Stored Away in Your Attic?

One of the primary reasons many of us don’t forgive is that we’re too angry even to consider it. We may or may not be aware of the anger we live with day to day. For plenty of people, the anger that holds them hostage to unforgiveness is a rage stored deep in the attics of their hearts. I refer to this as “ancient anger.” Ancient anger is like cobwebs strung across the attics of our hearts, and these cobwebs need to be removed. Frederick Buechner wrote about ancient anger:

Of the Seven Deadly Sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back—in many ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton you feast on is you.1
It is time to call a cleaning crew to clear out the cobwebs of anger. This cleaning crew can include a pastor, professional counselor, Bible study leader, Sunday school teacher, a prayer partner, or a spiritually mature friend—anyone who will really go in there with you for a thorough cleaning. Let me tell you that if that mass of cobwebs isn’t cleaned out, you can pretty much count on the unlikeliness of becoming free from unforgiveness. The cobwebs of ancient anger will tangle you up!
As we know, the Bible has a lot to say about anger. Does it address ancient anger? Yes, it does! Essentially we are exhorted to not even permit anger to age, much less become ancient. A memorable verse that comes to mind when considering the danger of prolonging anger is Ephesians 4:26–27: “‘In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”
(Free Yourself to Love: The Liberating Power of Forgiveness, pp. 140,141)


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Monday, September 14, 2009

Don’t Let Memories Drag You Back into Rage

Returning memories and fresh details of offense can drag you back into the anger that once ruled you. This is all part of the process of forgiving. Forgiveness is both instantaneous and continuous. I forgive my offender instantaneously and then a few weeks or years later, through a vivid memory of the offense, I forgive again—and again (continuously).

A survivor of the Rwandan holocaust expresses this:


My soul was at war with itself. I’d struggled so hard to forgive but now felt duped for having done so. . . . When my neighbors whispered the stories of my family’s sadistic murders in my ear, the feeling of hatred that I thought I’d banished from my soul sprang violently from the depths of my being with renewed vigor. . . . I tossed and turned for hours. . . . I rolled out of bed and got down on my knees. “Forgive my evil thoughts, God.” A sudden rush of air flooded my lungs. I heaved a heavy sigh of relief. The anger that had gripped me like a returning malignancy was gone.4
This woman’s courage to forgive what many would consider an offense too great, with memories far too relentless and vivid, is absolutely stunning.

Instead of resenting memories, one can rejoice that God wants to free us from ruling emotions that are not healthy or beneficial to ourselves or those around us. So often when I teach on forgiveness, people remark to me afterward that they were having flashbacks while I was teaching. I now alert my audiences about the potential for this and tell them not to fear the memories. Rather, they should fear shoving down more pain that will eventually rise up to rule as a despot.

When a memory or flashback intrudes on your day, examine it and consider this: Have I already forgiven this person and released this event? Or have I buried the hurt and anger, and am I still being ruled by what is buried? As David Seamands wrote: “The submerged emotions rise up and express themselves in feelings of deep depression, rage, uncontrollable lust, inferiority, fear, loneliness, and rejection.”3

The next time your brain sends you a memory, flashback, or dream, remember your need for homeostasis and rejoice that you know the 490 Principle (forgive 70 x 7—forgiving again). Practicing this principle is helping you achieve a PhD in Forgiveness—ultimate Christ-likeness. And becoming experts in forgiveness frees us to be experts in loving others. Memories are not the enemy but a vehicle for truth in the innermost part of our souls.

If you are still interested in attending the course on “The Art & Science of Forgiveness,” please come. This class is held on Wednesday’s at Grace Fellowship starting at 7:00 PM and ending at 8:10 PM (so parents can pick up kids when kids’ events end at 8:15 PM). The room is #500 (over the gym). Men and Women are both welcome and childcare is available. The only expense for this class is to get a copy of the book Free Yourself to Love. This book and your Bible will be the class texts.



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