Monday, March 29, 2010

Sometimes It Feels Like God is Trying to Kill Us!

“Sometimes it feels like God is trying to kill us –when what He is doing is trying to save us—saving us from loving anyone or anything more supremely than HIM!” (my version of something Tim Keller said). I spent most of yesterday asking God forgiveness--this comment so pierced me--I had been whining. I know that whining is just anger squeezed through a tiny hole. And then the Lord reminded me of a devotional I wrote years ago about not wanting to be buried like Moses in the wilderness--because of my demanding spirit which is manifested through angry whining. I only whine because I love MY COMFORT & My AGENDA more than my GLORIOUS FATHER! My comfort has become a counterfeit god in my life—and I often whine when my COMFORT is disturbed!

For several years, whenever I would read about Moses' anger and the consequence of being deprived of entering the Promised Land, I would grieve that my anger, like Moses’, would cost me the Promised Land (I don't mean heaven, but my inheritance in Jesus). This year, when I read through this passage, I saw that Moses’ anger was a symptom of his lack of trust. I had felt sorry for Moses, because I felt his frustration and anger with a rebellious group of people was a justified anger. After all, Moses was frustrated with a people who could actually doubt after witnessing the parting of the Red Sea! Then God showed me that even Moses, a man of great faith (Heb.11:23-29), struggled with trusting God, and this was manifested through his anger. Whenever I am angry, I consider not only the person or circumstance but also the extent that I am not trusting God. I do not want my tombstone in Moab (Deut.34:1,5-6).

Whether it is anger or lack of trust…my grumbling and complaining is a casual despising of God’s Sovereignty—ouch! Forgive me Jesus!



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36 comments:

Smith & Julie Peck said...

I so needed that today. Thank you so much. I read it at such a pivotal moment.. I know it was God speaking to me through you.

Abba's Child in S FL said...

God has been speaking to me about my complaining lately at work and that I need to stop. It really has been angry whining -OUCH is right!- and it stems from my pride. I nailed that to a cross Saturday night, but God will be digging up all the roots of it and the little succor shoots for a while. I'm SO grateful for HIS GRACE!! Transform me by the renewing of my MIND, LORD.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Jackie! I, too, needed to read that today! A lot of things going on that seem overwhelming lately. You would think I wouldn't BE overwhelmed though since I keep hearing people all over the place talk about the good report of Joshua and Caleb. I want to be like them and see the same situation as everyone else and know that God is in control! How true that anger and whininess and complaining really comes from fear!! I'm with you, girl...I don't want my tomb to be in Moab, either!

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